The Sisterhood of the Single-Use Vibrators

I have a vivid memory of the time my friend and I both wanted to buy a vibrator. Though we were interested, we had a couple of road bumps to get over; for example, neither of us had a credit card. The biggest, looming fear was- “what if our moms find out?” The idea of my nosey, Portuguese mom knowing that I was experimenting with sex and personal pleasure brought a wave of distress over me.  The next year, a friend of mine offered to buy me one for Christmas. I was buzzing with thoughts of excitement, nervousness, and shame. I, like so many other young girls, felt shame for wanting to explore my body and experience pleasure. After my life-changing first vibrator, I have slowly begun to expand my knowledge of sex toys, after having started with the simplest of vibrators I have now gradually advanced towards accessories that cater to my kinks, like whips and rope, as well as having gotten more comfortable in my sexual experiences with girls which then led me to purchase  a strap-on. Currently, my favorites are vibrators, and I own two at the moment.  

Bullet Vibrator

My Bullet vibrator was my first, so it holds a special place in my heart. They are small, inexpensive, and perfect for beginners. They are easy to find online or in any sex shop...and, I promise, people who work at sex shops could not care less if you buy a sex toy from them. Bullet vibrators are designed mostly for clitoral stimulation. Only 25% of women can orgasm from penetration alone, so the bullet vibrator’s clitoral stimulation will definitely blow you away; especially since there are 8,000 sensitive nerve endings in a clitoris.

It is a fun way to start exploring vibrators - but personally, it got boring after a while: the lack of additional vibration patterns made things way less interesting than I would have wished for. Now, that is a problem with my vibrator, not all bullet ones. It is a pretty straight forward sex toy that can be a turn on or turn off for you, I would recommend it for your first sex toy and as something to use when you’re in the bedroom with someone who is not too sure about bringing toys into the bedroom.

Rabbit Vibrator

After smoking a joint with my friends in Amsterdam, we decided the obvious thing to do was to purchase matching vibrators. Sex toy shopping in Amsterdam makes for a great story- right? So we went into the first shop we saw and I was quick to guide one of my friends through the bullet section until I got distracted by a rabbit that was on sale. It was pink, quite cheap and a !!Rabbit!!, which I was interested in buying after reading about them.

It was a match made in heaven, and it did not let me down. It is far more powerful than my other one and has far more vibration patterns, too. I’ve had it for 8 months now and I have yet to get bored with it. It demands some moving around until you find a comfortable position, but for me, it makes the experience definitely more interesting. Rabbits got their name thanks to their design and they offer both clitoral stimulation as well as penetration - as Hannah Montana would say, “you get the best of both worlds.” Rabbits are always my recommendation, but I know that for beginners their sight can be quite off-putting - in fact, my friend once said mine looked like “an alien”.

At the end of the day, there are many many many options out there. There is no such thing as a wrong sex toy, and exploring is healthy. Do your research, buy new things, try new things, figure out what you’re into, figure out how your body works, and what it reacts to. And if sex toys are not for you, whether that be because they still scare you or because you have not found one you truly enjoy, there’s no shame in that. The best part about sex toys is that it is all about what you want. The process of self-exploration is a very personal one, but the most important thing is to do what you’re comfortable with.

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Who I Was and Who I Am

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Poems by Adeah Reitsma