My Fault - Uninvited - Silence

My Fault

I guess, it seems, that it was always my fault.

Was I too drunk?

Did I get drugged?

How did this happen?

 

Waking up naked and exposed where I wasn’t invited.

But was I?

How was I here?

 

Just a few hours ago, I guess I “spoke my mind”.

Was this the real me?

How did I not remember?

 

But it was always my fault.

Never a moment to express my opinion.

I tried to apologize.

Was it really my apology to give?

 

I will always judge myself based on these assumptions of others.

Why is “I was drunk” acceptable for the other,

While it wasn’t the same for me?


Uninvited

I said, “what are you doing?"

He said, “what you wanted.”

 

I said, “what do you even mean?”

He said, “that’s why you invited me here.”

 

I said, “I just wanted to hangout…we can’t just be friends?”

He said, “just because you’re seeing my friend doesn’t mean you’re ‘taken'.”

 

I said, “Stop!”

He said, “Fine!”

 

He messaged: “I’d definitely respect a conversation tomorrow.”

I replied: “It started freaking me out that you continued to insist after I kept telling you ‘no’.”

 

He said: “yeah, totally understand. you made the right move haha.”


Silence

I saw your naked body last night.

You and me. Me and you.

 

I ran into you this morning.

I guess that never happened.

 

No greeting.

“Hello”, “hi”, “sup”.

 

It’s customary in some cultures.

But not here?

 

Am I embarrassing to you?

Is this a secret?

 

Do you think that if you greet me, we are betrothed?

I just want common decency.

 

Is that too much to ask?


 

 

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Brock Turner Monologue