Sex & Instagram with Haley Hasen
Sex educator and creator behind the Instagram page, @haleyhasenunscensored, Haley Hasen gives new meaning to body positivity by debunking and demystifying taboos on sex and sexual pleasure. Through her own body and art photography, Haley talks about the mission of having informed discussions on sexuality and, as her page states, “bridging the gap between the female form and censorship.”
Can you tell us a little bit about yourself, and how you started your page?
I am about to be 23-- I’m based in Georgia and the Instagram account first originated as an art project. I thought about how I could put myself out there and had the idea of not wanting to be set aside, sexualized, or objectified -- I started putting these images out there and realized that all these self-identifying men would be sexualizing my body even though I wasn’t putting myself out there to get that [response]. It became a research project of how people are following these objectifying hashtags to see images like this. I started to have this weird relationship where I felt comfortable being criticized even though I wasn’t consenting to it. That’s when the page started centering around consent because I wasn't getting consent to have all this conversation, which led to me talking about my sexual assault which was very healing in a way. After that, I started to pursue my certificate for sex education, which is reflective of what the page is now: informative, sex education, having conversations around sexual healing, and consent.
What recurring question do you often get that is a common misconception about sex?
I think right now a very nuanced idea that I’m enjoying is that you can define what sex is for yourself. I was taught from a young age that a female is to lay there and just get pregnant. Through my education, I’ve learned that [definition of sex] is off-the-charts not true. There are people who don’t even have penetrative sex. The whole penis, vagina equals sex is a very cis-hetero teaching. I also like encouraging the idea that you can be sexual at any age. We put a lot of shame on people who identify with their sexuality at a young age, but it’s completely normal. They’re not nymphos or anything, it’s about having a safe place where they can ask questions and explore.
You’ve shared posts that hint at sexual traumatic experiences, is it ever scary to be that vulnerable online?
Uhh...? Yeah. It does get scary, but a lot of the artwork that I post with trauma stories is part of the series that is fully about my sexual assault and my relationship with understanding men again which is called, I Am My Muse. For me, I know what those images are about, and when I put words to them, I know what it means even if no one else does. I do understand that people will sexualize it and it has been scary. I've only told three people in this whole world about that event, so I’m completely fine with sharing with people online. It’s weird that I feel more comfortable with that, but I feel like I reach more people like that. I feel more transparent, and it adds another layer to who I am, but it’s not just who I am.
Is there a sort of freedom in sharing sexy pictures?
Absolutely. I’ve found the beauty in my body, and I’ve finally found my voice that I haven't had for so long, so I'm taking up as much space as I can. Sometimes I just like the validation, like I'm sure a lot of people do on Instagram. I find it interesting the types of comments I get from half-naked pictures compared to fully clothed pictures because I like understanding my audience.
What’s the difference in engagement between the two?
Oh, there are people who would save the images, [referring to half-naked pictures] random people who would come to my page and DM [direct message] me, compared to maybe a fully clothed picture that gets five likes.
What’s the feedback for the account been like from followers?
Most of it has been really positive. People DM me saying that they’ve been through similar things I’ve been through and that I’ve helped them heal. I mean, I do get a lot of people who are mean and aggressive, too. One person told me that they’re not surprised that I was sexually assaulted because of the way that I dress. That’s mainly coming from male-identifying accounts, but a lot of them have said I’m a whore, and since I’m doing all this I must be a slut. Yet, the only thing that truly gets to me is the censorship on Instagram. I understand that there will be people who have different opinions, but taking down my content and being reported -- that hurts the most.
What would you suggest to someone who wants to feel more empowered in their own body, but don’t know where to start?
You can start with whatever makes you feel centered. Before I started the account I would read a lot of poems, and write, taking dancing classes that would make me feel more sensual and centered. I also like to do things for myself. If they’re comfortable I would say they could start taking pictures of themselves-- they don’t have to send them to anybody. I try to take a sexy picture of myself maybe two or three times a week, and when I look at them it’s like, “look at me! I look really good, I look cute.” To me, it’s the little things and learning to love yourself.